One of the most well-known traditions in Hawai'i is that of being presented with a lei.  While presenting someone with a lei is an age-old custom throughout the world, there is something about that garland in Hawai'i which evokes a sensuality and meaning that one can truly feel as being inherently "hawaiian".

I think that the reason the lei is so meaningful to us in Hawai'i is that for centuries, we were isolated from other cultures so the tradition took on a deeper significance than in other places.  We have leis to mark milestones in our lives - leis of love, of welcoming, of sadness, of honor.  We use them to mark those times in our lives that mark the passing of ages - births, graduations, weddings, deaths.

Hawaiian leis can be created out of various things.  Some of the most spectacular are those that are meant to be lasting.  These are created out of feathers, beads, shells and sometimes teeth.  Historically they have been bestowed upon our ali'i or ruling class. 

Most of us know now of the flower leis and more than likely are most familiar with those made of orchids or plumeria.  These are newer flowers in the creation of leis.  Historically, the meaning of each flower that goes into a lei has as much meaning as the lei itself.  Each island has a flower that it is known for and that has a deep, long history.  For example, the island of Keawe (aka Hawai'i's big island) is most noted for the Lehua flower that grows on the Ohia tree.  Legend has it that the goddess Pele met a handsome warrior named Ohia and she wished to marry him.  Unfortunately Ohia had already pledged his love to Lehua.  Pele was furios that she would be refused so she turned Ohia into a twisted, gnarly tree.  Lehua was devastated but the other gods took pity on her.  They turned her into a blossom that grew on the Ohia tree so that the two lovers could be together for eternity.  Quite a fiery love story, no?

Each of our Hawaiian flowers that goes into the making of our leis has an equally powerful meaning.  My good friend, Ried Kapo Ku recently released a CD of Hawaiian chants and and the song Ka Haku Mele Aloha O Hawai'i explains each flower and its meaning to each Hawai'ian island.

Receiving a lei is an honored tradition.  Leis are for men, women and children of all ages.  In short, it is good to get leid by a Hawaiian!

Tomorrow, Valentine's Day, I am hosting a massage workshop for couples in the Bay Area.  I teach many, many different types of classes and workshops but the couple's massage workshop is one of my favorites to do.

Touching another person indicates a level of intimacy that is true and deep.  When we touch another, we are moving into their personal space, physically connecting to that person.

In Hawai'i, we touch to heal, to share, and to connect.  Touch does not always need to be stimulating, it is an important way to become closer to those that we love.  When I moved to the mainland, I was shocked at how many people I encountered seemed almost afraid of intimate touch.  Human touch gives life.  All of our ancestors, since the beginning of time, have received comfort, warmth, and compassion through touch.

I love to teach massage to couples to see them connect and reach new levels of intimacy.  But even if you don't know how to give a full massage, I encourage you to touch those that you love.  Hold the hand of your children, rub the shoulders of a sibling or friend, share sensual touching with your partner.  When you touch those you love, you feel closer to those people.

Make an effort, connect to those around you.  Touching those you love in builds intimacy and strengthens your relationships.